Saturday, May 14, 2011

NEW MONTH, old lifestyle...

Hey y'all NappturalDancer here!

I hope all is good and well with you. : )  Well let see, school was giving me a headache and pure stress which probably explains why I haven't been able to do any vids lately but they are coming soon, I just need to get myself together. Speaking of getting myself together. I must say that life definately has it's ups and downs isn't it? I mean, here I am starting the fall semester of school and in the middle of the semester, with all the work piled on me, it was impossible for me to get anything done. Me being so distracted by numerous things, like, family, friends, facebook. lol But seriously though, I felt as though throughout the fall and spring semesters, I worked so hard to make an impact for myself and trying to finish up so I can move on and worry about other classes to next for next year. But working hard, literally is half the battle. I  NEEDED A TUTOR! I was so stressed out by the pressure and letting all of that get to me is what really cause me to fail some of my exams. I was so disappointed in myself, because I felt like I let the outside world come in and mess with my head and distracted me from the things that I needed to get done and that's my homework. On top of that, I haven't been to church in 2 months and why I haven't been going at all, is because of me trying to find a job, figuring out what I'm going to do with the fall 2011 semester, and figuring out how I'm overcome this homework, test anxiety. Honestly I really didn't have the heart to tell my sisters who have been helping me get through school, but eventually they found out. Through my mom. smh. I haven't been praying at all either. I always feel like I'm neglecting God and his promise to me to help me get through my troubled life. It hurts so bad and I always feel like when I want to talk to God, I'm staring at a brick wall. Like he doesn't want to hear me because I know I disobeyed him. I NEED HIM. He put me on this earth to overcome sinful ways of the flesh. I just need to let him know that what I'm going though is hard. Everyday is hard. It's hard for me to smile, to laugh, to relax. All I do is cry and get mad. But I have to tell him that, because he know that he is there.

As for other things besides school, my so-called love life. Still single. Don't care. Love can wait. Me being a black woman, I see a lot of things in society, mostly in the black community with woman finding their "perfect" black man. They have what is called, THE LIST. Things that a (black) man must do to please a (black) woman. Unfortunately I'm not gonna go over any of them because that's obviously a waste of time that's not well spent. I think bw who are professional, college educated, smart-savvy, independent (what is independent anyway?) and single do have options when it comes to finding a mate. Dating outside the color lines. In other words, interracially! Now for the black men reading this, no disrespect to you at all, but I feel that there are some amazing men of different ethnic groups across america and the world who would like to get to know women of other ethnic groups as well, especially black women. Now I know, I know, the whole "double standard" issue that goes on. Black men who dates interracially, but is pissed off to see a black woman dating interracially also. (of course NOT ALL black men feel this way) I know that it seems that we as bw have to be the last ones to save the race and stay supportive and never deceive our bm, but of course, we have a right to choose, and it's  about options. Me personally, I love all races of men, from white, asian, hispanic/latino, indian, native american, I can go on and on and on! Love is love, and as far as I'm concerned, it's out there waiting for me. I pray that a man of any color will love me for me and takes me as I am.

Well that's it for now, I know I said I'm gonna be making more blogs throughout the next few weeks and months, I will check back soon and also check out my YouTube channel while your at it. Love you all and I'll talk with y'all later!

Much blessings,

Weeping may endure for a night, but joy cometh in the morning.  --Psalms 30:5

No comments:

Post a Comment